Dear Coleen

JEALOUS OVER HIS FUN WITH GIRL FLATMATE

My boyfriend is at university in another part of the country and lives in a rented flat with a female friend and another guy.

They decided to stay in their flat and lock down together and I moved out of my university residence when it closed and moved back in with my parents.

All during lockdown I had to endure seeing my boyfriend and this girl on social media, having fun, making TikToks, baking cakes etc.

I’ve never been a jealous person, but I’m literally consumed by jealousy that he’s with this girl all the time.

I’ve seen him a couple of times now and it’s been OK, but when I brought up this girl, he got really offended about it and told me I was out of line.

We’re meant to be moving in together next year when we finish university, but I hate the way he just dismissed my concerns.

The bottom line is, she’s a bigger part of his life than I am right now. Can you help?

Coleen says

Long-distance relationships are hard at the best of times so, when you can’t see each other for a long period of time it’s extra tough.

You miss him and probably over-think every little thing, tapping into your insecurities.

You can’t blame him for trying to create some fun in lockdown. These photos and TikToks don’t mean he’s sleeping with this girl.

But I understand you feeling jealous. I don’t think he should have dismissed how you feel, but I don’t know whether you accused him of anything.

Tell him you’ve found lockdown tough and it’s hard seeing him with another woman. Then talk about your future and agree on a timeline. If he’s not into that, then you need a bigger conversation about where this is heading.