Laughter over the little things will get us through this jam

I THOUGHT we’d eaten it all, Mrs R’s Special Lockdown Marmalade.

Oh no, there’s another Kilner jar full of the stuff, for each and every breakfast.

I mean no disrespect but you can get tired of even the most lovingly created conserve.

Especially when you have to eat the orange peel – the hated “bits” – from the edge of her plate.

Still, it’s like everything about this long pandemic nightmare: eventually, it will come to an end. Then I can go back to porridge, or strawberry jam, or pikelets (down south you call them crumpets, which can mean something different, e.g. when preceded by “thinking man’s”).

Pikelet actually comes from the Welsh expression bara pyglyd, or rough pitchy bread, which got Anglicised into the name we use.

But I digress. The secondary value of the marmalade was its talking point.

Originally a conserve kit in a tin, bought years ago in error, it was rescued from the deepest recess of the pantry early in lockdown.

Mrs R gamely set about making the stuff, with 4lb of sugar and a big pan.

It must have got too hot, because ere long the marmalade was spitting all over the cooker, the cook and the adjoining furniture. The walls escaped. Largely.

Cook can take a joke at her expense – just as well, on this occasion, because the episode has become a hilarious topic of conversation in the dark days.

Amazing, the entertainment you can get from a minor kitchen-sink drama.

And have I told you about the historic disaster with the Christmas turkey?

That will have to wait for another dull day...