Celebrity MasterChef, BBC1
★★★★
As Liverpool was celebrating one of its football teams being crowned Premier League champions last night, a daughter of the city was celebrating an even more impressive achievement on BBC1.
How Crissy Rock made it through to the next round of Celebrity MasterChef after serving up a rice and fish dish that looked like a burst bin bag, I will never know.
It made me feel even sorrier for tennis coach Judy Murray, whose biggest crime appeared to be her inability to stack octopus pieces neatly.
The only possible explanation was that John Torode and Gregg Wallace put Crissy through for her comedy value. If that was the case, I’m perfectly fine with it. Crissy was hilarious.
On entering the kitchen, the former Benidorm star admitted: “You’re looking at a woman who once put a jelly in the oven.”
She then argued that she had every right to be allowed to cook for other people because, “I’ve eaten food that I’ve cooked for myself and I’ve survived”.
I mean, while that’s obviously not a line to put on a job application for a top London restaurant, you couldn’t fault Crissy’s logic.
Elsewhere, the BBC did nothing to help counter claims that this show has run out of celebrities, by booking “internet star” Riyadh Khalaf.
To be fair, Riyadh also has a podcast on the BBC – although these days that’s a statement that increasingly deserves the response, “Who doesn’t?”
He was a pretty good cook though. As was Pete Wicks from TOWIE, despite his claim that on a scale of one to 10 he was “a solid two”.
Not like Pete to hide his light – or anything else, for that matter – under a bushel.