Dear Coleen

MY WIFE WON’T VENTURE OUT OF COVID BUBBLE

My wife and I are both in our 70s and have a nice life. We have grown-up children and grandchildren, whom we love and have a good relationship with.

However, since Covid, my wife has become very insular and I think she’s reacted quite badly to the whole thing.

Now lockdown has eased, she still won’t leave home or see loved ones, even in the garden, and it’s starting to get me down.

I understand her concerns, as we’re both in that vulnerable age group, but sometimes I think she’s taking it too far and that we need to start living our lives again, albeit with restrictions.

I’d appreciate your advice.

Coleen says

She sounds afraid and I only really understood that when I had to go back to work in London last week. I definitely felt nervous and weird being out of my safe little home bubble. And it would be easy to think, “I’m fine where I am, I don’t have to go out”, but you have to push through that fear.

It’s likely this virus is something that won’t go away, even if it’s under control, and will become part of our lives in the way seasonal flu is. All you can do is take the safety precautions you’re supposed to take.

But try to have empathy and tell her you understand she’s worried, but that you still have a great life to lead and family to see.

I think the key is to build up to social situations gradually – don’t make the first one a big family gathering, which might feel overwhelming. Start small and build on it and hopefully she’ll get used to it and become more confident.

Some people are going to feel more wary than others, so offer lots of reassurance and do things at her pace.