Dear Coleen

HE WANTS TO MOVE IN AFTER HOLIDAY FLING

I’m a girl aged 21 and I recently went on holiday to the coast with a few of my university mates and a couple of their friends who I had never met before.

One of them was a guy I clicked instantly with – I found him very attractive, but also interesting and funny, and we’d stay up later than the others at night, chatting.

Inevitably, on the last night, he came back to my room and we had sex, which was amazing. Yes, no social distancing I’m afraid.

He got in touch and said he wants to move to be with me and move into the shared flat I rent.

I really like him, but this seems quite full-on. Should I be suspicious of someone who’s so keen? He’s 23, so a couple of years older than me.

Coleen says

I don’t think you should be suspicious necessarily – we tend to make those kind of rash suggestions when we fall for someone in a big way.

But if you’re feeling slightly unsure, don’t say yes to him moving in. I don’t think you are sure or you wouldn’t be writing to me – you’d be planning it.

Instinct is a wonderful thing and as soon as it raises a red flag, then you need to pay attention.

I think you just need to slow down a bit – tell him it sounds like something for the future, but let’s see how things go. Also, if you’re in shared accommodation, you’ll have to think about your flatmates, too, and what they’re happy with. They might not agree.

If it’s too soon for you, it’s too soon. It doesn’t mean you can’t still see each other and develop your relationship. Moving in is a big step and I think it’s wise to give it careful consideration.