Dear Coleen

RANTING WIFE IS MAKING US ALL UNHAPPY

I hope you can help with a distressing family problem.

Every day, a member of my household gets up and rants and screams for hours about things she imagines her husband is doing.

He isn’t doing any of the things she’s accusing him of.

By evening, she usually comes round and starts behaving in a loving way again, but then the next day it starts all over again.

Can you provide some advice on how to handle this?

Coleen says

You don’t explain your relationship to this woman or how her husband is dealing with it. She’s obviously got it into her head he’s up to something, so has anyone tried having a calm conversation with her about why this is?

If her husband is refusing to engage with her or to explain how he feels, that may have something to do with her frustration – hence the ranting and screaming. She needs to get it off her chest.

I don’t know if you’re in a position to talk to him and explain how stressful it is at home, and ask him to step in. It’s really his responsibility and, as a couple, they have to talk about how they move forward.

At the moment, it sounds like she’s shouting and he’s just ignoring the issue.

It must be very difficult for you though. If you have to live there, all you can do is try your best to be a calming influence and try to get them both to see reason.

Counselling would be a far healthier way for his wife to deal with her anger and frustration – you could suggest it, but it has to be up to her to make that choice.