Dear Coleen

UPSET THAT MY SON IS SET TO LEAVE ME AGAIN

I’m a divorced woman in my 60s and my grown-up son has been living with me during lockdown, which I’ve been very grateful for. Not just for the company, but we’ve really bonded during this time. While others have struggled with lockdown, I’ve actually really enjoyed this time with my son.

My problem is, he’s decided to move into a flat with his girlfriend and I feel heartbroken.

I want him to be happy and she’s a wonderful girl, but I can’t help feeling sad for myself, as I’m really going to miss him. He’s obviously lived away from home before, but this feels harder somehow.

Do you have any advice?

Coleen says

Oh, I completely understand empty nest syndrome. My grown-up boys are back living at home with me and have been throughout lockdown, but I know the time will come when they tell me they’re moving out.

It’s tough when your kids fly the nest because you suddenly feel a bit redundant and start questioning your role in life – I’ve done it myself. And I think it feels extra tough because of the experience we’ve all been through with lockdown.

You were unexpectedly given the opportunity to get really close to your son again.

I always think honesty is the best policy. Be happy for your son and offer to help with moving in, but tell him you’re going to miss him and ask him to stay in touch.

And if you get on with his girlfriend, have a word with her and tell her you’d love to see them both whenever they have the time. I don’t know any kid – however old – who doesn’t like coming back to their mum’s for a roast dinner (or with a bag of laundry in my case!).