Kate Moss! You’re looking a bit ruff
Miley Cyrus has adopted an ugly, overweight, lame, nappy-wearing bulldog with bad teeth... and called it Kate Moss.
The Midnight Sky singer spotted the mutt on a rescue centre’s social media page after she was abandoned at a fire station, and was immediately struck by her charms.
“She’s so ugly, they waived the adoption fee,” says Miley, proudly.
As well as being almost blind and deaf, Kate Moss (the bulldog) has such an “atrocious” backside, Miley has the daily task of administering a product called Monkey Butt, which she describes as “baby powder for dog butts”, likening it to a concealer. “I have to put diapers on her,” she adds, fondly.
Miley really fell for Kate Moss when she heard her beautiful singing voice. “When I do scales, warming up for my shows, she howls and sings with me and she’s got perfect pitch,” raves Miley. “That’s what locked her in.”
Now, Miley takes her friend everywhere with her, including fashion shoots, of which the dog’s supermodel namesake* is a pro.
“I tell everybody: ‘ I’m bringing Kate Moss. Make sure she’s good.
She’s Covid tested.’ All the men on set’s faces are the best. Then she comes in with her big ass...”
Sadly, not everyone has been so pleased to see Kate Moss: “The first thing somebody said was, ‘It’s a face only a mother could love’.”
Formerly so overweight “she could barely get off the floor”, the podgy pooch has shifted 10lb since her adoption. Miley has also helped cure her bad case of “cherry eye” condition with twice daily eye drops.
“I’m really happy that Kate Moss makes me put baby powder on her ass,” she tells the Joe Rogan podcast.
*A friend of Miley’s – no doubt thrilled at the tribute.