I’M TERRIFIED OF MICE BUT HE DOESN’T CARE

Dear Coleen

I recently moved in with my boyfriend after travelling and then staying together during lockdown.

All is going well, but our new flat has a mouse issue. I’ve spotted mice a few times in our bedroom and have such a bad phobia that I struggle to even be in the flat, and then it takes ages for me to venture into the bedroom.

We’re obviously taking steps to get rid of them but, having had the same issue in a previous flat, I know that can take some time. My boyfriend struggles to understand how scared I am and thinks I’m being ridiculous, although he’s trying to be more sympathetic.

I know my fear is irrational, but I can’t seem to control it and I’m worried it’s going to affect my relationship and my life in general.

Can you help?

Coleen says

Phobias are a type of anxiety disorder and are pretty common but, the good news is, most of them can be treated and cured.

Yours could be the result of a past trauma or something you’ve learned from a parent or sibling. But if you’ve only ever got rid of the mice without tackling the underlying issue, then your fear isn’t going to disappear.

So, there are a few approaches you could try – self-exposure therapy, where you’re gradually exposed to mice, and counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy can also be effective, but might take longer to see results. It’s worth looking for therapists who work in this area.

As for your boyfriend, maybe if you tell him you’re looking into getting professional help, he’ll take it more seriously.

When you move in with a partner, you find out all sorts of things about them. Give him some information on phobias and maybe he’ll change his attitude.