HYLAND On Last Night’s TV

Over on Channel 4 last night Fred Sirieix was trying to restore some order in the foyer of his First Dates restaurant.

One of his waiters had become embroiled in a body-popping contest with a disco-dancing love-seeker named Selvin.

“This is not Britain’s Got Talent, you know!” Fred laughed.

Too right, Fred. For a start, Selvin was actually entertaining.

(Look, let’s just agree BGT has had a bad year and cross our fingers for 2021, eh?)

But the dance-off was merely an appetiser. The real fun began when Selvin hooked up with his date, Donna.

They may not have found love but they had the makings of a pretty good comedy double act.

One exchange in particular had me spitting my drink out – and thanking Channel 4 for filling the hole in the TV schedule caused by my regular lifeaffirmers Paul Whitehouse & Bob Mortimer putting away their rods and tackle for another year.

“You know people say, ‘I changed my underwear this morning, just in case I get hit by a bus’,” Selvin said.

“Yeah,” Donna replied.

“I was actually hit by a bus.” Cue Donna howling with laughter before she realised he was being serious.

Then, with comic timing worthy of the likes of Larry David and Ricky Gervais, she asked “What number?”

The best thing about Selvin and Donna though, was that the good humour continued even after she had delivered a fairly brutal “No, thanks” in the postdate debriefing room.

As they left, Selvin was asking Donna if she had any friends she could hook him up with.