I’m tempted to leap over the fence to our sexy neighbour

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my husband for three years and married for two, and I already feel trapped and bored with him.

He’s a good guy, which is why I married him, but he’s very dull and middle of the road, and never wants to branch out and do anything exciting or interesting.

Before lockdown it was a case of him going to work, coming home, eating dinner and watching telly.

Now he’s at home all the time, as I am, and I’m starting to wonder why I thought marrying him was a good idea.

I’ve also become friendly with a male neighbour. Since restrictions were eased this guy has been to our house for a drink and we’ve been over to his with a couple of our other neighbours.

He’s basically everything my husband isn’t – he’s sexy, go-getting, interesting and funny. I was immediately attracted to him and the chemistry between us is undeniable.

Since he moved in next door I’ve been thinking and fantasising about him constantly. I want to let him know how I feel, but obviously I’m married and it’s as close to home as you can get.

Please don’t think I’m being silly – I’ve actually never felt so attracted to anyone in my life and the urge to act on it is only getting stronger.

Coleen says

I’m not sure how you’re feeling is just down to this sexy neighbour arriving on the scene. I think it might be about what he represents: excitement, which is clearly missing in your marriage.

You don’t actually know him very well and fancying him from over the fence is very different to having a real relationship with the guy.

You haven’t been married for very long so, before you do anything, think about that – about what’s gone wrong and if there’s something to build on?

Is it all down to your hubby that you’re bored? Is it worth considering counselling?

You must have loved him when you walked down the aisle, so what’s changed?

And talk to your husband – admit how you feel about your life together and listen to what he has to say, too.

He deserves a chance to give his side of things. You never know, he might be feeling the same, but have a different take on why things are dull.

In my experience, when a relationship becomes boring, it’s rarely just one partner who’s completely responsible for it.

He’s basically everything my boring husband isn’t