I’M A MARRIED MUM BUT STILL MISS FIRST LOVE Coleen says

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for eight years now but I’m still in love with my first boyfriend and he loves me, too.

We didn’t break up through choice – my mum was worried about me getting pregnant before I was married, so separated us by moving me away from home.

I lost contact with my ex, but we got in touch again later and he always asks me to wait for him.

However, I became pregnant with my husband, and life moved on in another direction.

Can you offer any advice?

It sounds as if you were young when you were separated from your first boyfriend. I don’t know how old you are now, but you’re old enough to make decisions for yourself about what you want to do with your life.

There are no guarantees things would work out with your ex – it’s been eight years and people change as they get older and gain more experience of life.

But what seems clear is that you’re not happy in your marriage and that’s what you need to sort out first. If the relationship is making you miserable and it’s not what you want, then walk away.

I’m not sure what your ex means by “wait for him”, is he in a relationship or maybe just working and living far away? But whatever – don’t wait for anyone to arrive on a white horse and rescue you. You have to do that for yourself.

It’s always harder to make the decision to leave a marriage when you have children, but I’ve done it myself and I know it’s possible to come through it and continue to be loving and supportive parents.