Exclusive: Dawn French
On life as a mum, her expanding family and surviving lockdown
Dawn French is part of a blended family and she makes no distinctions. She refers to her own daughter, two stepchildren and godchildren as her “beloveds” – and she loves them all fiercely.
“Family is everything to me,” says the actress, writer and comedian. “That’s where I know I belong. I am a mother to three kids who are not kids any more and that is my greatest challenge and also my greatest pleasure.”
Dawn adopted her daughter Billie, 29, with first husband Lenny Henry, while her second husband, charity executive Mark Bignell, has provided her with stepchildren Lily, 29, and Olly, 26.
Although the star is always mindful of their natural mother, she rarely refers to them as her stepchildren.
Like much of the country, the family spent far more time together than usual during lockdown.
“I was at home with my daughters and my husband,” Dawn says. “My son was 20 minutes up the road with his girlfriend. It was curious because it’s normally just my husband and me.
“We made the best of it. We had lots of time together and there was lots of cooking and talking and TV.
“We’re very lucky that we live in Cornwall so we had lots of fresh air and nice walks.”
Dawn has written a fourth novel which explores her ideas about what it means to “belong” in a family, regardless of whether or not you are related by blood.
Because of You is the harrowing but uplifting story of Hope, who steals a baby girl from a hospital after her own was stillborn, and raises her as her own. It is a book about mistakes, regret, forgiveness and unconditional love.
I was mothered incredibly well. We fell out often but we always fell back in again
DAWN FRENCH ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER LATE MUM, ROMA
The book is dedicated to: “My kids, Billie, Lils and Olly, because it’s all about being a mum.” Dawn says she had already thought long and hard over what motherhood was all about years before she decided to become a mum herself.
Her mother Roma, who died in 2012, was a charity worker who played a part in finding foster and adoptive homes for children.
Dawn, 63, has spoken often about her mother’s ideas and wisdom. “I was mothered incredibly well,” she says. “We fell out often but we always fell back in again. You’re supposed to rebel, and that’s fine.
“We were very close. I’ve now moved into the matriarchal position in my family, and I do that with her training and guidance in my pocket.”
And part of that guidance has seeped through into Dawn’s writing.
“My mum was very involved in fostering and adoption,” she says. “She sat on many panels and we talked about it often. All I know is that those who love you and raise you are very important, as are your birth parents.
“Of course, I bring a bit of my lived experience into whatever I write but the major part of it is my imagination. I like to investigate big themes – this one is another big theme of family and belonging and identity.”
It certainly is. Dawn faced a formidable challenge in making her main character sympathetic. The scene in which Hope loses her own baby is heartwrenching, and Dawn was determined to do the subject justice by researching it thoroughly.
“I talked to a midwife at Treliske hospital in Cornwall,” she says. “I spoke to some people I know who have had that tragic experience at birth. It was difficult to do but I tried to write that in as tender a way as I could. The truth is, when something that devastating happens to you, without a doubt you fracture a bit, and that gave me a reason why Hope could do what she does.
“If everyone was likeable and sympathetic, I wouldn’t be interested, really. “I wanted to challenge my readers with a bit of a moral dilemma. It’s tricky stuff. Has this child in the end been brought up in the right family? Has she landed in the right place?”
The novel also touches on how new partners are accepted into the family – something Dawn says she is happy to do in real life. “You love anyone who loves your kids properly,” she says, “and that is the whole point of expanding your family, isn’t it? That’s the natural order.”
Next up, Dawn is keen to expand her family even more,
Awith the prospect of grandchildren appetite for grannydom has b whetted thanks to her comedy par and close friend Jennifer Saunders, has several grandchildren.
“I am ready!” Dawn announces. “I grandmother- in- waiting. I’m pushing, but I’m ready when my kid ready. I’m going to look forward to t
sweet moment in Becaus You comes when Hope g through names she’d like t called when she becom grandmother – including Qu Momma, Gramma and Your Highn
So has Dawn made a decision ab what she’d like to be called when moment comes?
“No, I haven’t yet,” she laughs. “T ought to choose really, with a bit of g ance. If Smelly is the first thing
comes out of their mouth, I might edit that but pretty much almost anything else will do.” When the lockdown was relaxed, Dawn and Jennifer got together to record their Audible podcast, French & Saunders: Titting About.
“She lives quite near me, Jen, and we went to a fantastic studio we know in Plymouth and we sat around and… titted about,” Dawn says.
“It was a chance for us to be in each other’s company, which is my idea of the most fun I could have.
“There’s been a fantastic response to it and they’re asking us to do another series so we will have to try and find time to fit it in. I am definitely up for it.”
Now her children have left their quarters, life has gone back to normal and Dawn and Mark are living alone with their dog Goodie and cat Mowzer.
And mostly that’s just how Dawn likes it, with lots of writing, lots of walks on the beach and the odd dollop of noisy company. “Ordinarily, it’s just the two of us and the odd visitor so it’s quite quiet and I like that,” she says. “I’m a functioning introvert.”
When called upon, she says, she enjoys doing the “gregarious, big, showing off stuff ” we know her for – “but I’m 98% hermit, and happy.”
She adds: “The dog and cat are marvellous companions. The dog sits behind me whilst I write. We vary between quiet and just the two of us and then big gangs and families on Sundays. It’s always good fun to be with my beloveds.”
Because Of You by Dawn French is out now, Michael Joseph, £20.