IS IT TOO EARLY TO BRING UP BABY ISSUE?

Dear Coleen

I feel a bit stuck in the middle between my mum and my boyfriend.

The problem is, I’m planning to move in with him in the New Year after two years of dating, but my mum has advised me not to do it unless he gives me a time frame or at least some assurance first that marriage and babies are on the cards.

I’ve told her this seems a very old-fashioned attitude and that we just want to live together and see how it goes, but she says it’s just about protecting myself as I’m 33.

I don’t want to pressure my boyfriend even though, if I’m honest, I do want those things in the future.

Do you think she has a point?

Coleen says

I do believe it’s a good idea to live together to find out how that goes before making wedding or baby plans.

But do I think it’s a good idea to talk about these things?

Yes, I think it’s crucial to know where your partner stands on the big decisions such as starting a family.

I’ve seen what can happen when it’s not discussed – couples can spend years together before really talking about this very important subject and then realise they want different things.

So, yes, have the conversations about what you want from your future, but don’t give him a deadline for when it’s all got to happen.

That is a lot of pressure when you are just about to take quite a big step by moving in together.

Focus on enjoying this bit, which is very exciting, and then you can see where you are in a few months.