SHOULD I LEAVE GIRLFRIEND FOR MY COLLEAGUE?

Dear Coleen

I’ve been in a relationship for over a year – I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 20. Everything was good up until a month ago when I was self-isolating and began messaging another woman I met at work.

It was totally innocent at first, as the conversation was work-related, but after getting to know her I quickly realised I have a lot more in common with this woman than I do with my girlfriend.

We have bonded over past experiences, share the same future goals and she is also closer to my age, so now I’m starting to doubt my relationship. I’m worried about hurting my girlfriend, as she’s done nothing wrong and the relationship was otherwise fine.

I’ve been honest with her that I have doubts and she was upset, but I can’t make up my mind. I feel like I should be with someone I have more in common with, but I worry I’ll regret throwing away a good relationship that might have lasted.

Can you help?

Coleen says

I think you’re terrified of making the wrong decision. Do I think it’s good to be with someone you have lots in common with? Yes, I do, because in the long run that’s the glue that’ll keep you together.

However, just be careful you’re not getting wrapped up in the excitement of a new person on the scene who clearly likes you a lot. We all like being flattered and it’s a nice ego boost.

Maybe the best thing to do would be to spend a period of time single and see how you feel.

The risk of this tactic, however, is that neither woman will still be available when you’ve made your mind up!