RESENTING HIM WORKING FROM HOME WITH ME

Dear Coleen

Since March, my husband and I have both been working at home and I’m really struggling with it. I used to work from home before the pandemic, while he went to an office every day.

I’m starting to crave my own company and prefer being away from him. At first I thought it was just because we were holed up together and weren’t used to it. Now, though, I’m worried there’s something else going on because I really resent him being around and it’s a huge relief when he goes out and I’m on my own for a while.

We don’t argue much, so it’s hard to pinpoint what the problem is. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

Look, I think lots of couples will be finding the WFH situation tough. And I can see why it’s especially hard for you, as you used to have the house to yourself in the day and when your husband got home, you had more to talk about and you were probably glad to see him. And you had a routine.

It sounds like you’re stuck in an old-fashioned rut. Things are dull, mundane and there’s very little escape in terms of being able to go out and socialise together or with friends. And he’s there all the time like a comfy old chair in the corner of the room.

It might help to try and create a routine – work apart during the day, meet up for lunch, have a special meal on a Friday night, take the opportunity to get out on your own or together for a walk or a drink (whatever you’re allowed to do in your current tier!).

You should also talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling about the situation and the relationship – he might be feeling the same.

All relationships need effort and nurturing, especially in the current circumstances. Get creative and come up with some ideas.