SHOULD I MARRY MY LOCKDOWN CHEAT?

Dear Coleen

I’m in a relationship with a woman and she has a daughter I love very much. A couple of months ago, I had to leave the country for a few weeks only to find I couldn’t get back because of lockdown.

Then in December I found out my partner had cheated on me with a guy she had met on Facebook.

She hired him to do a photographic shoot for her start-up business and slept with him on the second day.

The affair continued for two months until she called it off, but still maintained a relationship with him until I returned.

I found she’d not only slept with him but gave him a huge amount of money within a month of meeting him. During all this time, we were still communicating about our future and even talking about wedding plans. I’d love your advice on what I should do.

Coleen says

First of all, don’t plan a wedding – that’s my most important bit of advice. If you want to stay with her, I think your relationship needs a lot of work before you agree to marriage. I’m just wondering why you still want to be with her after she’s hurt you like this and if you’ll ever be able to trust her again.

I’m not sure I’d trust her if I left the house to go for a pint of milk, let alone if I left the country.

You’re obviously close to her daughter and have become a father to her – and maybe this is what’s holding you back from making the decision to move on.

However, as much as you love this child, you can’t make her your reason to stay in the relationship.

You have to focus on yourself and your partner, whether there’s enough to build on and if being with her is going to make you happy.

I’d also suggest relationship counselling, which she ought to agree to if she’s serious about making it work.