Drama-queen mate thinks world revolves around her
Dear Coleen
I’ve been friends with another woman for about six years – we met walking our dogs one day and have been pals ever since. However, she’s quite hard to handle – she’s very high maintenance and takes offence over the slightest thing. She can also be sulky and bad tempered, but she has another side to her and is pretty funny, so I’ve persevered with the friendship.
However, lately she’s done a few things that have really annoyed me and I’ve been shocked by her lack of empathy and understanding. I was 15 minutes late recently for a dog walk because my son was stressed about going to school and she went nuts when I got there because I’d kept her waiting.
If I don’t respond to a text instantly (I have three kids and she has none), she gives me the cold shoulder for days.
I’ve heard from other people that other friends have given up on her because they haven’t been able to handle the grief.
I don’t want to do that but, at the same time, I feel I make most of the effort to keep this friendship afloat. She’s very needy and I don’t need another child at this point! Any ideas on what I should do?
Coleen says
Well, it does sound as if it’s all about her and, when you put someone or something else first, she chucks her toys out of the pram straight away.
Sometimes you learn the hard way with people and realise a friendship isn’t worth pursuing or you need to take a step back.
Friendship should be a two-way street and I wonder how she would react if you became less available and less willing to drop everything to attend to her needs.
If she gets mad with you, calmly explain how you feel and that having three children means you’re insanely busy and they have to come first.
I suspect she needs you a lot more than you need her and maybe that’s why she behaves the way she does. Perhaps friends have dropped her in the past and she doesn’t want you to do that to her.
However, she’s obviously going about things in the wrong way and she is sabotaging the friendship herself.
Some people also enjoy a bit of drama and are selfish and self-absorbed, all of which is very draining.
You could decide on a balance that works for you – for example a coffee and a dog walk once a week – but if you’re not getting anything from this friendship other than stress, maybe you should step back.
I get shunned for days if I don’t text back immediately
TASKMASTER
Channel 4, 9pm BRILLIANTLY bonkers and still undiscovered by many, this show will be the most joyous hour of your week.
For the uninitiated, it sees five comedians compete in ridiculous tasks in order to gain praise and points from Taskmaster Greg Davies.
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This time the contestants are Charlotte Ritchie, Jamali Maddix, Lee Mack, Mike Wozniak and Sarah Kendall.
Round one sees them challenged to bring in “the best thing you can carry, but only just”, resulting in weird offerings from stolen goods to nightmarish tunes. Then they must do the most impressive thing under a table with one hand.
They must look at the camera and wave with the other hand at all times.
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