It was supposed to be 16th v 17th.. it was more Brazil v the Barley Mow
CLUELESS BRUCE STILL SINGING SAME OLD TOON
BRIGHTON
Trossard 45+3, Welbeck 51, Maupay
NEWCASTLE 68
3
THE great cricket writer Martin Johnson, who died last week, famously wrote there were only three things wrong with the England team: “They can’t bat, they can’t bowl and they can’t field.”
At least cricket fan Steve Bruce could only see two problems with his Newcastle side after getting bounced out by Brighton: They are rubbish with the ball and just as bad without it.
Yet this famous club’s inexorable slide towards relegation is beyond a joke, with former Newcastle players and managers queueing up to give their damning verdict on this latest Toon shambles – and the attitude of the players.
Kevin Nolan accused the invisible stars of being “ghosts”, while Graeme Souness slammed their body language and claimed: “They went down without a fight.” Former Magpies defender John Anderson said: “It’s hard to put into words how bad that was.”
This was supposed to be a relegation scrap between the teams in 16th and 17th place separated by a single point.
Instead, such was the difference it looked like the 1970 Brazil World Cupwinning team up against the Barley Mow, with the likes of Paul Dummett and Ciaran Clark (below) outclassed.
“We simply did not do enough with or without the ball in a big game,” said Bruce. “Without the ball and with it was a big problem. We kept surrendering possession back to them.”
The December Carabao Cup defeat to a Brentford team making six changes had seemed the low point of another horrible season.
But this was even worse and should have been a defeat too far for the Newcastle board after only two wins in 18 Premier League games.
Bruce is a Betamax manager in the age of the iPhone12.
Graham Potter’s innovative tactics saw strikers Danny Welbeck and Neal Maupay split to the flanks to allow Leandro Trossard and home debut boy Jakub Moder to sprint into the space.
The flummoxed Newcastle boss looked like my old Nan trying to comprehend digital banking on the touchline.
“Their tactics were very decent, they caught us out in that respect,” said Bruce. “We probably needed to get to half-time to clear a few things up.”
Newcastle’s Plan A was for Martin Dubravka to launch long balls for Joelinton to head directly into touch. Plan B was to do it again.
Bruce’s side remain two points above 18th-placed Fulham with a game in hand but with an inferior goal difference.
Newcastle have Callum Wilson and Allan Saint-Maximin yet to return.
They also have the hope that a better performance in a potential relegation playoff at Craven
Cottage on the final day of the season could still count.
But winger Ryan Fraser said: “We need to save our season now. We want to try and work on how we are going to stay in the league.
“We’re not in the bottom three yet and we’ve still got games remaining. If we go and win our next game it looks rosy again. We’ve still got to play Fulham too.”
England went on to complete a clean sweep of the Ashes and two one-day tournaments on their 1986-87 tour of Australia during which Johnson made his cutting remark.