Don’t want to face my ex and woman he left me for

Dear Coleen

A couple of years ago, my husband left me for one of the mums at our kids’ school.

To say I was devastated at the time is an understatement – I never saw it coming and I also felt totally humiliated, as everyone at school knew what had happened.

They’d been having an affair for a year when I found out. She ended up taking her kids out of the school, which was a massive relief.

It’s taken me a long time to get over this and rebuild myself, which I’ve done, despite the horrible year we’ve all had. My kids seem happy and we’ve got into a new routine.

However, I’ve just found out that my son and this woman’s son will be at the same senior school together from September and all those feelings of anger and hurt are flooding back.

I don’t know how I am going to cope if I have to see her, and see her with my ex.

My son has to go to this school, as it’s the best comprehensive in the area and he’s done well to get in.

I feel trapped and as if I’m never going to escape from this situation.

What would you advise?

Coleen says

I’ll tell you what you do – you go into that school with your head held high and a big smile plastered across your face. Act like you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. I’ve done something similar and it feels good – you’ll feel strong and it’ll give you confidence. Then you can get back in the car and punch the steering wheel and cry your eyes out!

You have to remember you’re in a different place now than you were a couple of years ago – you are more confident, you are stronger and you’ve moved on.

Eventually that smile will be genuine and you genuinely won’t care about it.

You have nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about – she has. Also, at secondary school, you hardly see other mums because parents aren’t as involved and there’s no hanging around the school gates. You’ll have parents’ evenings and the odd concert, but that’s it.

Be proud of how far you’ve come and how well you’ve handled things.

You’re a good mum and you’re doing what’s best for your son.

My son and her son will be at the same senior school