Jess a second
It’s Halloween tomorrow, so maybe that explains some of this week’s most mysterious goings on. And it is time to unleash my inner paranormal investigator...
CASE 1
Top Gear and Question of Sport host Paddy McGuinness appeared to have been struck down with Donald Trump alternative fact syndrome. Just look at his Twitter beef with former Top Gear Host Jeremy Clarkson:
JC: “What on earth has happened to A Question of Sport?”
PM: “The same thing that’s happened to Top Gear JC. New personnel, bigger ratings.”
Good comeback Paddy – except your Top Gear ratings are around half of Clarkson’s and QoS is pulling in about half the viewers it averaged with Sue Barker.
SOLVED: Paddy has slipped into a parallel universe where what he’s saying is true (and he’s 50% less like an excited puppy).
CASE 2
Gemma Collins’ fans are so besotted and desperate to be close to her, they will put themselves in terrific peril for the tiniest reward. In fact Gem revealed this week that one starstruck fan, under The GC spell, even climbed over the top of her toilet cubicle partition and dropped down next to her – while she was on the loo. Now that’s fandom.
SOLVED: Gem’s a reincarnated siren. Which explains why she’s partial to a sailor.
CASE 3
Phillip Schofield has been harnessing his inner magic powers, after revealing an unlikely secret passion for healing crystals. He even leaves his amethyst geodes outside overnight when there’s a pink supermoon.
SOLVED: It’s clearly got absolutely nothing to do with Holly Willoughby now flogging crystals on her lifestyle site. More likely he was bewitched by
the last full moon he saw.