HE SAYS HE’S FALLEN OUT OF LOVE WITH ME

I’ve been with my husband for nearly 15 years, but the past few years (and especially the past few months) have been really difficult.

We’ve been arguing constantly and he’s just stopped talking to me. We have a 10-year-old and an eight-year-old and our youngest son has behavioural issues, which adds to the stress.

Things came to a head last week when he screamed he didn’t love me any more and was “done” with our marriage. He said I’d “checked out” years ago and that it was my fault the marriage was in crisis.

I have found parenting difficult and stopped putting effort into the relationship, but I still love him. We’re still living together to keep things “normal” for the kids, but it’s hard. I’d love your advice.

Well, it probably isn’t normal for the kids if the atmosphere at home is toxic and you’re not speaking to each other.

Perhaps taking a break and not living under the same roof would give you both a chance to take a step back and reflect on the state of your marriage. I suppose the question is whether he said that he doesn’t love you out of anger and frustration or whether he actually means it, in which case, you need to have a serious conversation about what you want to happen next.

You can’t keep avoiding each other in the hope you’ll suddenly start getting on and everything will be great again.

Relationship counselling – if he’d agree to it – could help work through the issues if you’re at stalemate and there’s always a chance it could help you stay together.

If not, it could ease you through a separation.

Good luck.