SHOULD I TELL PAL HER SON TAKES DRUGS?

My daughter recently told me that she’s pretty sure the son of one of my best friends has been taking drugs. They’re both 17 and in the same sixth form college, and she said he’s well known for smoking weed and drinking heavily most weekends.

I must admit, the last few times I’ve seen him I’ve thought how awful he looks, but I put it down to that awkward, greasy-haired teenage stage.

The trouble is, my daughter has sworn me to secrecy and asked me not to tell his mum because she doesn’t want him to think she has said anything, and I want to respect that so she keeps confiding in me.

But I have known his mum for years – she’s one of my best mates – and I would feel awful if anything happened and she found out I knew all along.

What should I do?

Coleen says

Maybe speak to her lad? If he’s your best friend’s son, you probably know him well enough to talk to. You don’t have to say your daughter has said anything – you could just say that you’ve heard through the grapevine that he’s been smoking weed and you could ask him if he’s OK.

It’s such a difficult situation – if you do say something, you run the risk of him suspecting your daughter of saying something. And if you don’t do anything the situation might get worse.

I have some experience of this. I once told a friend about her son’s drinking habits and I got a shock – she told me to mind my own business.

Sometimes people shoot the messenger. So I never told her again, and every time her son got blind drunk I kept it to myself. But this is drugs, which is more serious.

Or maybe give your daughter some advice on how to handle it, and what to say to him.