Bird-brain Ted in a flap over Sesame’s jab plea

REPUBLICANS have hit out at Big Bird after the Sesame Street character’s Twitter account advocated getting vaccinated for Covid-19.

“I got the Covid-19 vaccine today,” the kids’ favourite chirped on Twitter. “My wing is a little sore but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.”

Texas Republican Ted Cruz couldn’t help but get involved, squawking: “Government propaganda... for your five-year-old.” Who’d have thought? A sitting senator attacking Big Bird – after last month defending the First Amendment right of parents to give Nazi salutes at school board meetings.

A 39-year-old man was rescued from inside the walls of the historic Landmark Theatre in Syracuse last week, where he had been trapped in nothing but a birthday suit for days.

Firefighters drilled a hole in the wall and used a fibre-optic camera “to determine his exact location and how to best extricate him,” the department said.

Police north of the border are hunting thieves who penetrated a gated Ontario property to steal £66,000 worth of condoms.

Christopher Callen had been serving time in Monroe County jail, in the Florida Keys, since September on a charge of failing to register as a sex offender.

Last week, he attacked his 57-year-old cellmate, beating him so severely that he knocked two of the man’s teeth out and broke one of his ribs, according to the sheriff’s office.

The reason for Callen’s rage, he told deputies, was because his cellmate “passes gas too often and doesn’t give any courtesy flushes when using the toilet,” the sheriff’s office said in a press release.

A woman who went to have a mole removed at a hospital was stunned to find an additional £8 “brief emotion” charge on her £166 bill. Midge, who said she had been billed extra for crying, had actually been charged for a “brief emotional assessment”.

P.S.

Like many New Yorkers, it’s fair to say my barman Richard will never be called woke or politically correct. This week, he asked regulars: “If a man stands in the middle of a forest speaking, and there’s no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?”