WISH SON HAD MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE

My son, who’s 33, has been married for four years and has a baby with his wife but I really struggle to get on with my daughter-in-law. I worry that she’s bad for my son.

She’s quite a negative person whereas he’s very upbeat, and she always puts herself and her needs first. My son is always with the baby and the two of them come to our house a lot without my daughter-in-law.

Whenever I ask where she is, she’s either working, with friends or having some time off. I barely see them all together.

I did ask him if he was happy and he said he was, but I can’t help feeling he deserves better and I find myself wishing he’d married someone else. Do you have any words of wisdom?

Coleen says

Yes, don’t tell him you wish he’d married someone else, as it could cause a permanent rift.

Unfortunately, it’s not a given that we’ll like or get along with our children’s partners, but it’s their choice I’m afraid.

Also, you’re looking at their relationship from the outside and don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors.

They might be ecstatically happy together and the relationship might work great for them. Perhaps your son loves spending this time with his baby and doesn’t consider it as being put upon.

And look at the positives – your daughter-in-law has made your son happy, they have a gorgeous child and you’re a grandmother.

The most important thing is that your son knows you’re always there to support them if needed. Maybe if you reached out to your daughter-in-law or planned some things to include her more in family life, she might respond to it and it could pave the way for a better relationship.