BGT MOVED BY

Emily Mann, 25, intensive care nurse

When the pandemic began, Emily Mann had just started work as an intensive-care nurse – and she is still processing the traumatic events she witnessed in the awful months that followed.

The 25-year-old says that, at its worst, three or four patients were dying during a 12-hour shift.

She adds: “Working in healthcare you’re aware death is something you’ll face.

“But the scale we were dealing with was very challenging.

“In the second wave we believed it was better to give people a chance to fight Covid on their own as much as possible without invasive ventilation because it’s a big thing for your body to deal with.

“This meant we had a lot more people in ICU who were awake. There are people who died whose names and faces I will always remember because I spent a lot of time with them talking about their lives and built relationships with them.

“There was one night shift where I spent 45 minutes with each patient, sitting down with them and reassuring them.

“The main thing I remember is their overwhelming anxiety.”

Because patients weren’t able to see their relatives, Emily would Skype loved ones for them and also sit holding their hands. She recalls: “I’d tell them ‘You’ll be fine’ but you knew in a few days there was a possibility they could deteriorate and go the other way.

“All you could do was try and calm them down.

“When people died, I reminded myself it was more important to support their loved ones. I’d tell them about conversations we’d had, trying to give them a bit of light in such a dark time.”

Emily says she felt she had no choice but to hold it together. “The situation was always evolving and there was no time to think about what you were doing. It was a matter of coming in to work and looking after people.

“I bottled it up and I’ve still not dealt with it 100% but I’m getting there and talking about it with my colleagues and the members of the Frontline Singers has helped.”

Emily, from Gillingham, Kent, was inspired to join the singers after she was tagged in a post on social media by a friend.

She says: “I was interested because I’d grown up in and around music and it had always been a part of my life.

“When I first heard the song I felt it really summed up what life was like for us. It also brings a message of hope and positivity, which we all needed to hear.

“Performing it on BGT was such a privilege.”

We had 4 patients dying on every shift