Let’s do this together

It was only because the Year 10s are doing their tests in the food tech class at The Dark Lord’s school this week that I haven’t had to “pretend eat” another leaden artisan loaf.

“Mmmm this is… lovely. What’s your secret ingredient? Sweepings from the metalwork class?” I said, pulling her leg about the last effort.

I remember making sausage rolls, apple pie and fairy cakes in home economics in the 1980s, which were a lot tastier than today’s doughy food tech fare.

The Dark Lord seems to be mainly making bread this term, which while handy to know, isn’t as useful as, say, knocking up a lasagne or macaroni cheese.

I particularly recall having to spend a lot of time cleaning in my home economics class. Which when you think about it, reflects real life – 10 minutes cooking, 10 minutes eating, one hour clearing up, especially if, like The Dark Lord, you only use one hand to empty and stack the dishwasher.

My home economics teacher got very cross when she caught me wiping my surfaces down – straight on to the floor. I tried to argue that this was a much more efficient process, enabling me to sweep up everything in one go. But naturally she was a stickler for old-fashioned things like hygiene and made me scrub all the ovens in the cookery room for arguing back.

Talking of ovens, a funny letter from Glen Trick in Plymouth in response to The Dark Lord’s exploding chocolate muffins had me chuckling.

Helpful Glen writes: “I loved helping out with the fundraising at my kid’s primary school, doing fancy dress or white elephant stalls. But then the head of year asked me to help a group of seven-year-olds make flapjacks for the refreshments stall.

“Against my better judgment, I buckled under pressure. Everything was going well – the mix went in the bowl and all the lovely kids stirred with great enthusiasm. It was then squished into the trays and placed into the oven.

“After about 25 minutes there was a suspicious sizzling sound and horrified I saw the ooze trickling out of the oven! I turned the heat off and then tried to open the oven door but it was glued tight – the golden syrup had turned to superglue!

“The school had to buy a new oven and I stuck to fancy dress duties after that. I am not Bake-Off material.”

The Dark Lord assures me food tech pizza will be back on the menu week after half-term. My cholesterol levels can’t wait.

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.