Let’s do this together

Sometimes I think freedom is overrated – or at least wasted on the middle-aged.

I spent years waiting for my toddler daughter to grow up so I didn’t have to arrange babysitters just so I could go for a drink with friends.

And then I waited for her to start having sleepovers, so that I could go for wild nights out and not have to get up at the crack of dawn.

Although that never quite worked out as The Dark Lordette always wanted to be picked up first thing in the morning wherever she was staying. So I had to get up early AND drive, which wasn’t ideal.

So here we are – the best part of a decade later, and The Dark Lord is away most of the weekend visiting friends, and what am I doing? Rearranging my tin cupboards, that’s what.

And for a bit of light relief, I’m then sorting through clothes and books, putting stuff aside for charity, and taking stuff to the dump. Yes, this really is how I am choosing to spend my weekend off-duty.

And if I want to get really down and dirty – then there’s the BBQ needs a good scrubbing since I just left it last summer. I expect toxic spores of Sainsbury’s sausages will erupt into the atmosphere when I take the lid off.

Then this evening, rather than relishing the opportunity to cook myself whatever I want for dinner rather than boring meat and three veg, I’m thrilled I don’t have to cook at all!

I also don’t have to spend the weekend’s mornings looking at my watch and tutting over when The Dark Lord is finally going to emerge from her pit.

Imagine that, all those mornings of moaning I’d never get a lie-in ever again, and now I’m worried she doesn’t get up in time to see sunlight.

And now that I have time to write my parenting book, I can’t remember the half of it. The last 13 years seems to be a blur of Beanie Babies, chopping carrots and cucumbers into batons and trying to find lost socks.

But if I had to come up with three tips for parenting they would be:

1. The first 10 years are the easiest.

2. Doesn’t matter what you think, they will do whatever they want.

3. Cello lessons are nice, but you’d be better off giving them to the cat!

What would yours be? Send me your three best or funniest parenting or grandparenting tips.

■ Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.