Educating boys on respect the right way to go
ANY parent of teenagers knows it’s practically impossible to get two words out of them. So it was a bit odd for me to find myself having a debate with my 17-year-old son about, of all things, make-up.
I was trying to make myself look half-decent for a catch-up with a friend when he started quizzing me on why I was wearing make-up at all, and how “natural beauty” was much better.
When I probed further he told me he’d never date someone who wore lashings of make-up or who looked significantly different without make-up than they did with it.
The point he was trying to make – he probably thought quite gallantly – was that women don’t need make-up and he’d happily tell a girlfriend that.
My point to him was that it wasn’t up to him as a (young) man to decide whether or not a woman wears make-up. In fact it’s not up to him, or any man, to dictate a woman’s preference on her appearance or any other thing.
My concern is that young men are bombarded with such strong views about the right way for a woman to look and behave – some may lay the blame for this at the door of toxic influencer Andrew Tate – that their perception of women and how they interact with them can be a bit skewed.
That’s why I welcome this week’s news that Labour is considering plans to educate boys in schools to respect women.
It’s so important for boys and girls to learn about consent, healthy relationships and boundaries, not to mention curbing violence against women.
Until now, the burden has always been on women to prevent violence against themselves. We have to be careful alone at night, watch what we wear, and be aware of our surroundings.
But it should not be women who have to modify their behaviour – instead those are issues with the perpetrators.
Of course, parents have a vital role to play, but there is also a role for schools. Not all parents will feel equipped or willing to have these conversations. Schools can be a place where children receive this vital information regardless of their home life.
Education alone won’t solve all of these problems. Abusive men must be held accountable and survivors supported. But Labour’s plan, which isn’t about demonising men, but helping them to be part of the solution, is a step in the right direction.
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It should not be women who have to modify their behaviour