Cost of raising children a bitter Pill for Boebert

ANOTHER week, another classic from politician Lauren “Bozo” Boebert.

This week, the calamitous Colorado Congresswoman took to the house floor to declare that birth control was more expensive than raising a kid. The 36-year-old grandma recalled how when she was younger, she found her Pill prescription cost too much, prompting her to tell the pharmacist it was “cheaper to have a kid” – which on average in the States costs around £251,000. She then had her third son.

What made her claim even more alarming was that she voted against the right to contraception.

North of the border, pet owners were left stunned last week after learning a Montreal dog park has suddenly outlawed barking.

A new sign on a gate in the city in Quebec, Canada, sternly stipulates: “It is forbidden to let your dog bark, whine or howl.”

Violators could be fined up to £1,200, it adds. Fair to say officials have gone barking mad.

Dancers at a Los Angeles jiggle joint have voted to form the only union for their work in the US.

All 17 Star Garden Topless Dive Bar performers in North Hollywood unanimously passed the motion after a 15-month struggle.

The group say they are fighting for better pay and benefits, healthcare and safer workplace conditions.

Any future pay disputes will see them clothed until further notice.

A Florida man who decided to relieve himself outdoors because the bathroom queue at a busy bar was too long has lost his arm as a result.

Jordan Rivera was spending a penny when he was attacked by an alligator that ripped his limb off.

Still, the 23-year-old has remained positive while recovering from his ordeal in hospital this week.

He said: “I didn’t lose my life, I lost an arm. It’s not the end of the world, you know?”

Cops in Maryland said the guardian of four teenagers arrested on suspicion of stealing cars arrived to pick them up… in another stolen motor.

The Charles County Police Department said officers arrested four juveniles and two adults who were travelling together in two stolen vehicles.

But their guardian and two other women surprised officers by arriving at the Charles County police station in what appeared to be a hot Hyundai.

Eventually, the guardian’s vehicle was recovered – after nearly hitting an officer.

P.S. I received a text this week from my old mucker and barman, Richard. He’s certainly not changed. Knowing tales of his mother-in-law always made me laugh, he said he’d bought her a chair for her birthday, before adding: “My wife wouldn’t let me plug it in.”