Let’s do this together

I was lying down on my bed with a glowing light therapy LED mask strapped to my face when The Dark Lord came home from school.

She stopped at my bedroom door and asked with a note of concern in her voice: “Mum, are you OK?”

Without moving, I spoke from behind the mask: “I’m just testing this anti-wrinkle device for work,” then added: “How was school?”

“We had a two-hour lesson on radiation today,” she replied, went to walk away then turned to ask: “How does the mask work?”

I’d read the science bit on the box but wasn’t sure the explanation would pass any rigorous questioning by my scientific teenager.

“Not entirely sure but the A-listers love it – do I look young and beautiful yet?” I joked, lifting up the mask to show her my slightly red face. “So, what did you learn about radiation?” I asked.

She mumbled something about gamma rays, then added: “Mainly not to touch them. Er… how do you know the mask isn’t powered by radiation?”

The red light suddenly clicked off and I sat up and took it off. Putting it back in the box, I said: “Well I’m pretty sure the company who makes them doesn’t want to wipe out its entire customer base with radiation poisoning, although I suppose that’s what Tudor make-up companies thought when they made lead-based foundation.”

I turned my attention to more pressing matters. “I see you’ve put all your science and maths mock exam dates in the shared calendar already, does this mean you have planned a revision schedule?” I asked.

“Yep don’t worry, I’ve already done my revision,” she said, wandering away. TDL’s still taking her New Year healthy non-snacking resolution seriously, but now looks a little lost after school without the kitchen cupboards to ferret through.

“It’s a long time since I did any exam revision,” I said, sitting back at my desk.

“But I distinctly remember it not being a one-off thing, you know, you actually have to do it regularly before your exams.”

She stood behind me in the doorway and sneakily asked: “How many did you pass, then?”

“That’s a closely guarded secret… ahem,” I said coughing, mainly because I couldn’t actually remember. I took a guess: “I think I got five O-levels and two Grade 1 CSEs, which counted as O-levels back then.”

“You must have been very thick,” she said, smiling smugly.

“Yes all right, all right, no need to be rude,”

I said snippily. “Just remember to do your revision if you don’t want to end up like me – wearing a mask for work!”

Email siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.

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