High-risk cat-egory prison

The stolen goods count by Lord Of The Bins at the weekend included my mum’s sandwich and a random half a cucumber.

Mum left the sarnie on the sofa and it got snaffled in a pincer movement by the Bin Lord and his willing accomplice Bozza-fivebellies, but we all know who the brains behind the crime outfit is.

Reader Barbara Berry of Mansfield Woodhouse, Nottinghamshire, also has a food monster at home – and he’s the first prisoner to be incarcerated in our pet jail.

“This is Erik – or Big Erik, as we like to call him – and he’s about two years old. He’s totally obsessed with food and will eat anything,” reveals Barbara.

“We learned very quickly when he came to live with us not to leave any item of food out in the kitchen after he had eaten half a quiche, which had been left to cool and half a packet of bread left on the side.”

Clearly a genius, Big Erik has even learned how to open the lid on the air fryer. “We can’t leave food inside to cool – we have to put things in a cupboard until it can be stored in the fridge.”

However, Big Erik has learned that the neighbours are not as vigilant.

“He had started to steal from them, bringing home on separate occasions two salami-style sausages, a huge piece of salmon, a brand new, unopened packet of bacon, a chocolate doughnut and half a loaf,” admits Barbara.

“I have no idea which neighbour he is stealing from, but fully expect them to turn up on my doorstep with a flaming pitchfork.

“We await, with bated breath to see what he will turn up with next!”

■ Who’s nicking food in your house? Send your pet to jail by emailing siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk