Speaking from the heart
I PROBABLY shouldn’t admit the first thought I had when I heard about the Princess of Wales’s cancer diagnosis.
In the grand scheme of things, next to confronting a terrifying illness and debilitating treatment, and comforting her husband, her children (...and the nation), it sounds ridiculous.
But I thought it: her lovely hair. When I got my first cancer diagnosis at 47, just five years older than Kate is, it was the thought of chemotherapy taking my hair which distressed me most. Who am I kidding? It’s traumatised me every time I’ve needed chemo since, at every age.
Of course it’s not rational to cry over hair when there’s so much more at stake. (Even when it’s as fabulous as Kate’s). But it’s human.
And after thinking about the Princess repeatedly these last few days, it’s important to remember that behind the role model and royal, she’s just one of us.
Who knows if Kate will lose her lovely hair. It depends on the chemo she’s having and how she reacts. Actually, that first time I was diagnosed I only partially lost mine. And it might well be the last thing on her mind.
But it’ll help her most now if we remember – conspiracy theorists, social media trolls and all – that when we discuss Kate, as I’ve done this week on the telly, with my family and over lunch with my Macmillan Cancer Support worker, we are talking about a real person. A person who’ll be experiencing the same blur of rational and irrational fears we all do. Fear of losing my hair wasn’t a vanity thing. For anyone facing chemo feeling this way, it’s about identity – feeling yourself, feeling confident, fighting the emotion of being eroded by a disease.
Prince William has spoken this week of his pride at his wife’s strength and she will undoubtedly be trying her best to remain stoic. But I’d urge her not to suppress the seemingly silly worries.
Don’t be frightened to say you’re frightened. Allow yourself to ask for help.
We all have to pinch ourselves and remember there’s a person behind the princess. That’s the best way we can support her now.