Let’s do this together
I’ve always said a pub quiz ruins a perfectly good night’s drinking, but then that’s because my specialist trivia knowledge categories are British TV light entertainment (1978–1998) and the complete works of vintage Ladybird Books.
Obviously with this sort of niche expertise, I’m rarely invited to join a quiz team.
That was until I was asked to sign up to our paper’s political team at the Guinness Pub Quiz at the Horse and Guardsman pub in Whitehall on a rainy Tuesday night this week.
“You must be desperate,” I said.
“Well we couldn’t get Polly, Reade, Routers, Miriam or Coleen. And even the interns and cleaning staff are all busy – so you’ll have to do,” I was told, encouragingly.
We don’t see our politics colleagues very often because they keep themselves locked up at the House of Commons in a dusty office that’s probably haunted by mice and the ghost of Margaret Thatcher, so it was a nice opportunity to put some faces to the names. And more importantly, there was free booze and food.
The annual quiz is organised by drinks giant Diageo, the only sponsor who could keep up with the booze requirements of 200 political hacks.
Large tables were set up around the pub for all the media outlets, and looking around at the competition, I noted the Daily Express team were better turned out than most. But then they obviously have staff to buff their shoes and press their suits.
The quiz was genially hosted by a very tall man, who someone told me was Martin Bayfield, ex England rugby bloke, but as I don’t know much about sport (or geography, science, history or politics), this was lost on me.
I thought he was from the Daily Mail’s table and was concerned about our buffet being invaded by foreign food, when he boomed through the microphone. “Just to warn you when you eat the chips – they’re halloumi fries!”
Sadly columnist Kevin Maguire bailed at the last minute (clearly cowed by my superior quizzing knowledge) but political editor John Stevens was in charge of the proceedings. Despite having lots of jolly clever people on his staff, he did sigh with faint disappointment at me every so often.
On the drinks round, considering how much of the stuff I chuck back, I failed to name the botanicals in gin. But I did get the weekly alcohol units limit right, “Definitely 14,” I told him. “I know this because it’s the number I have to remember to tell my GP!”
But some of the questions were tricky and only true quiz nerds can answer. Like, which country does France share its longest border with? Brazil because France still owns French Guiana.
“That sounds a bit colonial to me – we should refuse to answer on a matter of principle,” said deputy political Lizzy Buchan quite correctly.
After the Guinness staff counted up the scores, the winning team annoyed everyone by whooping and cheering all the way to collect their big glass trophy.
“That trophy looks very heavy,” said John menacingly. “They want to be careful someone doesn’t drop it on them!”
Whoever said winning isn’t everything… lied! Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.
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