Dear Coleen

I CAN’T believe I’m writing this but I think my husband could be gay.

We have two young children and I always thought we were very close – we’ve been together for 11 years.

Over the past year, my husband has changed and seems a lot more irritable and is obsessed with his best male friend. They see each other every day, text and also speak on the phone several times a day.

My husband speaks about this man at home every day and, when we’re out having a meal as a family, he’ll sit there and text him.

I feel as if there are three of us in this marriage and it’s making me so miserable. I really feel for our children as their daddy should be paying them more attention but he would rather send crude messages to this friend.

I even found a pair of pants in our washing recently that didn’t belong to my husband. He claims they got mixed up in the tennis changing rooms, which I thought could be possible.

My husband always makes sure he kisses me goodbye when we part, we do sit closely in the evening, he looks after us well financially and tells me he loves me. We still make love once a week but recently he turned me down, which he would never have done before.

If I say anything against this friend he hates it and he knows I don’t like him. Should I sit him down and talk it through properly once and for all or just hope this phase passes? I keep thinking it could be a mid-life crisis but how long do I put up with it?

I’m exhausted and hardly sleeping with the worry of it all. I really thought we were a happy family.