Dear Coleen

KIDS WON’T MAKE ME A GRANNY

I DON’T think either of my grown-up children will have kids of their own, which I’m finding hard to deal with.

My son is gay and doesn’t have a partner, and my daughter has always said she has no intention of having kids – she’s focused on her career and friends.

What makes it worse is that most of my friends’ children are starting to have kids and they talk about them a lot.

When we go out for lunch, I feel sidelined and I’ve actually gone home and cried afterwards about the fact that I’ll never hold my own grandchild.

I haven’t told my children how I feel and my husband doesn’t seem bothered. He says they have to live their lives as they see fit and we shouldn’t expect that of them.

Am I silly for being this upset? you can’t live your kids’ lives for them and I’m sure if you’re honest, you wouldn’t want them to have children just to make you happy.

And things can change. Your son might settle down with a partner and they might decide to have a child through surrogacy or adoption.

Likewise, your daughter might fall in love with a guy who wants a family or might decide her career isn’t enough for her any more and choose to be a mum.

But if none of that happens, you can’t make your kids feel guilty or not good enough because they made a choice not to become parents. Not everyone wants children.

I would mention how you feel to your friends, though. I’m sure they would start being more sensitive when it comes to talking about their own grandchildren.