Coleen says

YOU’RE right in that you shouldn’t force him or nag him into marriage. It would lose its significance for you because you’d always know he only did it to keep the peace and not because he wanted to. And it would be ammunition for either of you to throw at the other in an argument.

I don’t think his reluctance has anything to do with the fact that you’re not as important to him as you were when you first dated.

Actually, committing to having children with someone and being a family has far more significance in my opinion.

Maybe he doesn’t feel it’s important to get married at this point in time – life must be busy with a young child and a baby on the way – but it doesn’t mean he’ll never be ready.

It’s fine to explain to him what you want and why you want it, and if his aversion to marriage makes you feel insecure, hopefully he’ll be reassuring. But then leave it and try to focus on your nice life together – that’s what’s important.

I THINK your advice for the guy who forgot his girlfriend’s 30th birthday is the wrong way round (Dear Coleen, March 24.) He apologised as soon as he remembered, but she showed her true colours by discarding his present and choosing to go out with her friends on the night instead of with him. And she’s continuing to be difficult. If she reacts to something minor in this manner, the chances are she’ll behave childishly over petty things in future. Mike, via email