Dear Coleen

MUM SO ANGRY THAT I’M TRANS

I CAME out to my mum as trans (female to male) and she was really supportive for the first two days. But then when I asked if she could call me by my chosen name she went ballistic and started screaming at me, saying it was a stupid teenage phase. She also said that because my best friend (a girl) has a girlfriend and some of my male friends are gay, they were the ones ‘making me do it’.

She threatened to send me to an all-girls school, make me wear dresses and grow my hair. My friends are supportive but I can’t take it at home any more. I cry myself to sleep because I feel worthless and I’ve started cutting, too. I bought my mum flowers the other day, yet the next day she still called me an ungrateful little b **** . Mermaids helps young people up to 19 years old who are experiencing gender identity issues, as well as their families and any professionals involved in their care (visit mermaidsuk. org.uk; email: info@ mermaidsuk.org.uk; call: 0844 334 0550). There’s also the LGBT Foundation (lgbt.foundation) and the Beaumont Society (beaumontsociety.org.uk).

If your school or college has a counsellor, then don’t be afraid to confide in them. There are plenty of people who will listen to you and want to help you.

When you do get the opportunity to talk to your mum calmly, acknowledge that you understand it’s difficult for her, but be clear that it doesn’t matter what you wear or how long your hair is – it won’t change who you are.