Wee have power to make our own luck
JUST noticed it’s the 13th today. That’s all I need. Seriously, I’m about as unlucky as Diane Abbott in a maths exam.
Seems like everyone’s getting a slice of the bad luck this week.
Rapper P Diddy is being sued for sexual harassment by his former chef, who claims he made her serve him dinner when he was in the scud.
To be fair, that may have been her fault.
She offered him a salad with no dressing and he got the wrong end of the stick. What a diddy.
The bad luck continues. Paul Pogba’s world record £89million transfer to Manchester United is to be investigated by the football authorities.
Apparently something went missing during the deal, never to be seen again. Judging by this season, I’m presuming that’s all of Pogba’s playing ability.
Sticking with football, David Beckham has shrugged off criticism of dodgy acting following his cameo in the new King Arthur film.
I’m not saying it’s bad but he makes Danny Dyer look like Robert De Niro.
In terms of charisma, Becks was upstaged by the stone King Arthur pulls the sword from.
In fairness, David doesn’t look like the criticism’s affecting him.
Well it might be but he doesn’t have the emotional range to show it.
From King Arthur to the modern day royals, and their luck isn’t much better.
Prince Edward has become the first family member to comment on Prince Philip’s decision to retire, saying that his dad won’t be disappearing into the background and doing nothing.
Obviously not – because Edward’s already got that gig.
And what about the Queen admitting to using an iPad?
It’s the most expensive apple product she owns. Not counting that 10,000-acre orchard in Kent.
Not surprisingly, it’s an iPad One, though her Maj is always keen for the Royals to upgrade to a new model when possible. Well, except when it comes to Prince Charles.
Let’s finish on a high note, though, with a wee bit of good luck. Literally. Small batteries filled with urine have been developed. Sounds like a flash in the pan. They sell for £1, which is some mark-up as to make it they only had to spend a penny.
So well done to the guy who invented them – even though everyone told him his idea was pure p**h.
As the man behind a battery full of pee, he’s had the luckiest break of all. Come on, he’s gonnae be well flush.