You only laugh twice
the crew were getting out of hand, I had a habit of turning a soda syphon on them. I imagine that would result in a complaint to human resources or health and safety these days.
“Cubby Broccoli produced my films and it was like being part of a family for everyone who worked for him. He’d cook pasta for us all. Once, when we were in Macau in a casino, he went around piling chips on the tables so everyone could play.
“Of course, political correctness was never exactly our strong suit. I remember Lois Chiles on Moonraker going mad when Cubby observed what a ‘cute ass’ she possessed.
“‘What do you mean by that, you chauvinistic pig?’ she screamed.
“He was just saying that she looked lovely. I didn’t see it was anything to get upset about.”
With typical modesty, Moore attributed his record as the longest-serving Bond – he played the part seven times in the 70s and 80s – to the fact he was “cheap”.
That’s true in comparison to what Craig has been earning, but then, as Moore pointed out, the franchise has turned into much more of a business.
He said: “Cubby took the view it wasn’t done to talk about money. Only once did the subject come up and it was during a particularly tense standoff between my agents and lawyers and their people.
“We sat playing a game of backgammon. He was shaking the cup. Suddenly he said, ‘You can tell your agent to go s*** in his hat.’ And that was that.”
Moore equated big money with big headaches.
He added: “I can see why Daniel doesn’t always sound entirely enthusiastic about making the films. He needed surgery on his knee after the last one.
“When you’ve got people putting up the kind money that’s needed to make the new Bonds, there is a huge pressure on everyone involved to deliver and there is no time for laughter on the sets.
“It seems a pity to me, though, that the scriptwriters can’t manage to get a few more jokes into them. I’d often see a joke we could work into a scene and we’d have a go with it and, if it worked, it would be kept in.”
Craig doesn’t have Moore’s sense of humour – but Moore didn’t have his abs.
He said: “I would occasionally do some exercises at home while I was making the films, but I never cared for gyms. I wonder if Ian Fleming ever saw the character as quite such an Adonis.
“There is talk these days of a black actor, a gay actor or indeed a woman playing the part. I’m against it for the simple reason Fleming was quite clear in the books about how he saw the character and he was none of these.”
Moore reckoned that Fleming would be thrilled that the Bond character remains such a big draw today.
He added: “He created a character that has the enduring appeal of the characters in children’s bedtime stories. “
Moore decided to quit as Bond when he saw himself in A View to a Kill and thought he looked too old to be “hanging around women in their early 20s without it appearing a bit creepy”.
That 1985 film was very nearly not the last time he played the role. He admitted there was some truth to the stories about all the surviving Bonds – himself, Sir Sean Connery, Timothy Dalton, George Lazenby, Pierce Brosnan – getting together for one last hurrah on the screen. But he said Connery was having none of it.
Moore said: “I love Sean, but he takes himself a lot more seriously than me.”
Moore never really retired as an actor, taking his one-man show on the road in his last years and wowing new generations with his old-world charm and self-deprecating humour.
He said he would have loved a part in Downton Abbey – “some ancient old retainer” – but the acting and the showbusiness lifestyle and rubbing shoulders with world leaders and royalty never meant as much to him as his job as an ambassador for UNICEF.
When Theresa May asked him to introduce her at an event during her campaign for the Tory leadership last year, he had no hesitation in refusing.
The chance to ingratiate himself with the future prime minister was less important than maintaining his political neutrality for the charity.
Moore added: “I’m more proud to be associated with UNICEF than any mere film or role. The only thing of value about being a celebrity is that it gives you a chance to do some good.” MOORE delivered some of Bond’s funniest lines. Here are a few: ●After villain Kananga dies from a gas pellet shoved in his mouth, Bond says: “He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.”
Live And Let Die, 1973 ●“I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak or forever hold your piece.” The Man With The Golden Gun,
1974 ● Bond is caught in a compromising position in a lifeboat with Russian agent Anya Amasova.
Minister of Defence: “Bond, what do you think you’re doing?”
Bond: “Keeping the British end up, sir.”
The Spy Who Loved Me, 1977 ● Villain Hugo Drax: “Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?”
Bond: “I discovered he had a crush on me.” Moonraker, 1979 ● Bond girl Magda, drinking champagne: “I need refilling.” Bond: “Hmm? Of course you do.” Octopussy, 1983
It was a carefree time. Political correctness wasn’t our strong suit ROGER MOORE