Dear Coleen

I’VE lived with my partner for eight years. He left his ex for me after being with her for 25 years and they have three grown-up children. I also left my husband of 20 years for him and also have three grown-up kids.

Because of the way we got together, his children hate me and mine hate him, and things have not improved eight years down the line.

We still have to attend family occasions separately and are never invited anywhere as a couple.

My partner has been invited to his half-sister’s wedding in Dublin next month and he told me he’s going with his two daughters.

However, I’ve just found out from a friend that his ex is going, too. I wouldn’t mind if it was a local wedding but they will be travelling and staying in Dublin together for two or three nights.

When I tackled him about it, he said he has to go as he can’t let down his daughters, and got all defensive and angry that I was trying to stop him from going.

In my eyes, it’s a step too far. His daughters and his ex would love nothing more than to split us up. I’m sure his ex would have him back like a shot as she still loves him and has never moved on with another man.

I think it’s out of order that he will be off playing happy families as if I don’t exist.

I will be worrying the whole time he’s gone and will never believe his version of events when he returns. I feel like giving him an ultimatum – if he goes we are finished.

What are your thoughts?