A little too quick on the draw with my winning intro
AFTER years of writing about Scotland’s footballing heartache – to be involved first hand in another tale of woe is hard to take.
The winning intro was all but penned, a glorious goal from yours truly to secure a group opening win against New Zealand and then last-second disaster struck.
A Kiwi strike in injury time cost us three points and the 2-2 draw delivered that oh so familiar feeling of getting the calculators out as we prepare to face the USA tonight.
With group favourites England putting seven past the Yanks without reply it’s going down to goal difference to see if the dark blues are to progress and the shooting boots will be back on.
It was to be a day when the omens weren’t on our side. A huge part of football is played in the mind and a few boys had their confidence shot to pieces as the Thai FA put everyone through a pre-tournament medical.
Blood pressure, sugar levels, height, weight and body fat were all checked before breakfast and the results didn’t make great reading for some.
Alan Flannigan cut a subdued figure as the 40-something hitman was told he had the physical characteristics and wellbeing of a 56-year-old man.
The news was worse for Alan Dawson as his readings caused panic and alarm within the Thai medical staff who advised immediate referral to his nearest GP.
I duly assessed his condition as a heart attack waiting to happen, poor diet and stress has obviously taken its toll.
It could all be attributed to a recent bereavement as he was still coming to terms with the sudden loss of his hair.
Then it was on to the opening ceremony and the dignitaries were out in force, the Thai president, Miss Thailand and all of the local schools played their part in a colourful parade.
It was also a special occasion for our former Bundesliga midfielder Scott Burnside who was celebrating his 51st birthday. Hopefully Mrs Burnside isn’t reading as Miss Thailand made his big day all the sweeter by planting a smacker on his cheek.
The Asian beauty wasn’t the only thing to set temperatures rising with an eye-catching figure. Heat of almost 40 degrees turned the local stadium into a torture chamber and defibrillators were at the ready just in case the medics had made the correct call on the ticking time bomb that was Dawson.
The weather wasn’t the only threat to the squad’s health in a region which has its share of python pit vipers, King Cobras, scorpions, tarantulas and black widows. It was baking conditions which made it a struggle to get a breath.
Treatments are available everywhere if the worst was to happen and the safety bulletin in the team hotel raised a few eyebrows.
It read: “If bitten by a snake and it is safe to do so, kill the snake and take it with you for identification at the nearest hospital.”
Bear Grylls rather than boss Alan McTurk would have been a safer bet as our gaffer did his team talk next to a rocky grass area which proved ideal habitat for a serpent’s lair.
Our games are being televised live across the nation and at least they were treated to a Parksy special to give Scotland a lead after we had gone a goal down only to level through the mercurial Stewart Maxwell.
This World Cup can still enjoy a happy ending as nobody in this squad has any intention of making their excuses and leaving the tournament yet.