Dear Coleen

I AM writing because of a problem I’ve had for some time that doesn’t seem to be going away.

A man from my past came back into my life a couple of years ago. He tracked me down via Facebook claiming he never got over me and that I was the love of his life. He also claimed that he was in an unhappy marriage and that he regarded his wife more as a sister than a partner because of the lack of intimacy and affection.

I said I was in a similar situation and that, while I wasn’t going to make any promises, I was willing to meet for coffee. Then the excuses started for him not being able to meet up, although he was happy to chat online.

I then found out that shortly after contacting me he also got in touch with another old flame and was not hesitant at all to meet with her. Because of that I felt there was nothing there between us and I didn’t want to talk to him any more. I also felt no desire to meet up with him.

My problem is that despite telling him I want nothing more to do with him, he keeps claiming he’s in love with me and doesn’t want to lose contact.

I feel slightly harassed now and don’t know how to make him understand I’m serious. He has made threats and, although I don’t want to go to the police, I will have to if he carries on with this behaviour.

I genuinely don’t know what he wants from me since he has a wife and now a mistress and he also occasionally picks up girls in pubs.

I worry that he’s not mentally stable but I’m not scared – I just hope he won’t push me to the point where I feel I have to reach out to the authorities.

I have seen him stalking me on a couple of occasions but if I try to approach him he runs away.

Please help.