Daily Record

Katy couldn’t Russell up a word for her ex

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KATY Perry, a word. Rating your lovers according to their skills in the bedroom department?

Tackier than a Pritt stick inside a thigh high plastic boot. Still, it was interestin­g that DJ Diplo, John Mayer and Orlando Bloom got a mention, and she said that singer Josh Groban was “the one that got away”.

Conspicuou­s by his absence from the under-duvet passion scale was Miss Perry’s former husband, Russell Brand.

Not entirely a surprise. I suspect that by the time he spent 20 minutes wrestling himself out of those drainpipe trousers, had a preen in a mirror, and then gave a blast of self-serving, revolution­ary twaddle, the notion would have been be long forgotten. ●THIS week’s esteemed PISH award (Philosophy Is Seriously Hypocritic­al) goes to former Vogue editor Alexandra Shulman, who has been wittering forth on the subject of modern day female attitudes.

She said: “I find it particular­ly depressing how perfection­ist and judgmental so many women are about their own appearance­s. On the whole, men aren’t saying, ‘You’re too fat and your legs are too hairy and you’ve got a double chin.’ Women are doing that to themselves.”

Apologies, had to pause there to put my head on my desk until the steam stopped coming out of my haute couture lugs. I can’t decide whether Miss Shulman’s skewed perspectiv­e comes from a place of denial or naivity.

Because it goes without saying that the soul-sucking, pervasive quest for youthful features and unattainab­le standards of beauty has largely been fuelled by magazines like hers filling page after shallow page with skeletal young models, airbrushed to perfection.

 ??  ?? TOTALLY TACKY Katy Perry
TOTALLY TACKY Katy Perry

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