Dear Coleen

I’VE been with my partner – now my fiancé – for three years and we’ve been living together for most of that time.

My problem is that he’s never taken off his shirt in front of me, even when we’re in bed.

I have approached the matter with him lots of times and he says it’s because he’s unhappy with himself and wants to lose weight. He is not overly big but has quite broad shoulders, so will never look really slim.

He insists it’s a weight issue but I’ve seen pictures of him on holiday four years ago when he was quite a bit slimmer and he didn’t remove his top the entire time he was away, so I think there’s something else at the root of it.

I’ve tried reassuring him that nothing would change the way I feel about him and that I love him the way he is but he shuts down the conversation after a few minutes and says one day he will take off his shirt when he loses weight.

Even when we had a hot tub, he kept his shirt on and he has told me that when we go away in September he

I’ve put my hand up his shirt... he hasn’t a 3rd nipple

won’t take off his shirt to sunbathe or swim. He has allowed me to put my hand up his shirt on his chest, so I know it’s not because he has a third nipple or anything else he could be embarrassed about.

I just don’t know where to turn or how I can help him to get over this. It’s starting to get me down.