I’ve been lucky to have grea first time I had lots of questio and couldn’t do... and nowh
Emily Yates, 25, is an accessibility consultant, accessible travel writer, presenter and businesswoman living in Glasgow who has volunteered at the 2012 and 2016 Olympics in London and Rio. Like other women her age, she enjoys work, a hectic social life and a little romance. She is also a wheelchair user. Here, she writes about what it’s like to be young, disabled – and sexy THE Paralympics went a long way in changing perceptions for the better in linking disability and sport.
Elite athletes are winning medals and representing their countries, urged on by huge crowds. They use wheelchairs, prosthetic limbs, are of shorter stature or have hearing and visual impairments – but the sport comes first.
However, when people start thinking about their sexual urges and needs, suddenly they’re no longer like other sports people.
Inclusive and accessible sex education didn’t exist during my time at school – in fact, if you couldn’t put a condom on a banana you were in trouble. But there are serious issues which need to be discussed.
Disabled women are almost three times as likely to be sexually abused as their non-disabled peers and yet those of us with disabilities are still entering lessons and workshops that are not kitted out for our understanding.
There are few subtitled and audio-described videos, information is usually not easy to read and digest, and the bodies in these videos and photos rarely reflect disability of any kind, showing a lack of affinity for those of us classed “less than normal” – and often less than attractive.
I’m well able to look after myself but I’ve been in a couple of situations where I felt vulnerable sexually, and one in particular was made much worse by my disability.
I was in a taxi, my wheelchair was in the boot and the taxi driver was totally inappropriate and very suggestive.
It was really horrible knowing my disability meant I couldn’t deal with his approaches as I wanted to, as I knew I had to keep talking politely to him in the hope I could distract him through small talk, until he dropped me off.
I reported him but it highlighted the situations you can find yourself in if you have a disability.
Children and teenagers are constantly told to respect themselves and others but if you’re disabled it’s very likely that many of the adults in your life might never consider you as a sexual being, so all the usual safety advice and strategies aren’t discussed.
You’re doubly vulnerable if you cannot remove yourself easily from an awkward situation, or are more likely to find yourself in the position I did.
I became a wheelchair user at the age of nine following surgery on my
legs, after my twin sister Lucy, who does not need a wheelchair, and I were born 10 weeks early with cerebral palsy.
I’ve been lucky to have great sex and talk about it. But before losing my virginity pretty late at 19, I wasn’t petrified of the act itself but the positions that would be possible for me without causing me a lot of pain and whether or not the passion would disappear after a bit of planning. There weren’t many answers on Google so I spent an afternoon laughing and crying with my auntie and sister as we went through positions together as seriously as we could.
Although it was a giggle and it helped a lot, it’s also a shame that I had to get myself in such a panic for something that’s supposed to be sexy and fun because I simply didn’t know where, or who else to turn to. M people go through a stage in wh they’re suddenly aware of their attraction to others and their d be attractive in return.
This was quite late for me as too busy being the goalie for th football at break time or focusi swotting up for the next class t left getting the guys to my siste was very successful and, lookin