At sex but before my ons about what I could here to find answers
Most hich r desire to s I was he boys’ ing on test. I er who ng back, I was pretty jealous of her victories and sometimes I’d get upset thinking I’d never get a boyfriend or have sex.
As I’ve got older and learned that necessary patience and had great sexual experiences, I’ve also grown in confidence, although I’ve still a way to go until I’m as self-assured as I’d like to be when it comes to intimacy. Some people think that disability isn’t sexy or, even worse, it’s infantilised, so of course having sex with someone who has a disability is then seen as wrong.
Sometimes there’s a sense that if you have a disability you’re ill or frail, which doesn’t fit the traditional idea of what we consider sexually attractive.
But I do think change is coming and I’m proud to be a part of that change. Relationships can add to life but they don’t make me who I am and I’ve had more important things to concentrate on than being sexy. Other teenagers tend not to think twice about whether they’re able to go on school trips, or prove they can go to university – physically get there, rather than just reach the required academic standards.
I definitely have confidence, which has helped so much in my job as a travel writer. I volunteered at London 2012 and sat next to Lord Sebastian Coe at a press conference where I asked him for 15 minutes of his time, and all the contacts he could give me. In turn he mentioned me in his closing ceremony speech for saying that the Paralympic Games had “lifted the cloud of limitation” for those with disabilities.
I went on to do a two-year consultancy stint with MetroRio on accessible underground travel and wrote an accessible travel guide to Rio de Janeiro with Lonely Planet for the 2016 Olympic and Paralympic Games.
I’m the founder and one of the directors of My Purple Compass, a company that encourages people with disabilities to travel far and wide, journeying out of their comfort zones.
I also work with Enhance the UK who are providing the sort of information I would have loved to have got as a teenager. We need to get back to basics, especially as sex education isn’t where it should be yet.
I’m much more than a girl in a wheelchair. I have the same tattoos, tinted hair and love of fashion of many women my age, and I hope that others see that as well as the wheelchair.
We are so much more inclusive as a society which makes it even harder when discussing sex and disability appears to be taboo – make it part of sex education and give others the confidence to understand they’re as sexy as the next person. Visit www.enhancetheuk.org
There’s a sense that you’re frail, which doesn’t fit what we consider attractive