Coleen says

YOU’VE learnt a tough lesson – the grass isn’t always greener and an affair isn’t worth losing everything you hold dear.

I think as long as your wife knows how you feel, then you should back off and give her some time. You can’t just expect things to suddenly return to normal just because you want them to.

Tell her you want her back and are willing to move heaven and earth to achieve it but that you realise the ball is in her court. It’s hard to back off when you love someone but you’ll still be in touch regarding arrangements for the kids, which will keep lines of communication open.

I think it’s possible for you to get back together but it’ll take time and work to rebuild trust. If she does want to try again, I’d recommend seeing a relationship counsellor to help you move forward (relate.org.uk).