Bacon, baking.. the news is all about food

IT’S all about food, glorious food. A Wiltshire farmer whose piglets were saved from a blaze served them up as sausages to the firefighters who rescued them.

The firefighters were less keen on the gift they received for rescuing a cat stuck up a tree.

Though they have since blown up a nearby tattie farm and a Heinz Baked Beans factory to round off the meal.

Bake Off judge Paul Hollywood insists viewers won’t notice a difference with the new show within 10 minutes of it starting. Fair point. They’ll probably be on their third ad break by then.

Meanwhile, US rapper Snoop Dogg has said that he wants to open a London bakery with Mary Berry. Sounds weird, but Mary was actually a member of the first ever rap crew – The Caster Sugarhill Gang.

Usain Bolt plans to open 15 restaurants serving Jamaican cuisine. Though will probably be beaten to the finish by Justin Gatlin’s new line of pharmacies. Personally I think the big man should have gone for other shops that better suit his name. Like a DIY store called Nuts and Bolts.

Or what about the fireworks supplier, Bolt Ya Rocket. And my personal favourite, the hearing aid centre: “Whit Usain?”

And viewers have been left horrified after The Big Family Cooking Showdown featured a pizza with Brussels sprouts. The reaction’s been so bad that the pizza’s now considering topping itself.