WHY DID HE SUDDENLY GO COLD?

Dear Coleen

I’M feeling confused about a situation with a guy I was seeing. We went to college together but didn’t know one another very well. Then on a night out a couple of months ago I bumped into him.

He told me he’d always fancied me and we spent the whole night dancing, talking and kissing. He kept messaging me afterwards and we met for coffee. He was very sweet and romantic, and invited me to his house party for his birthday.

At the party he was all over me and we did some sexual stuff but didn’t sleep together because he said he didn’t want me to get bored of him too quickly.

However, that was nearly a month ago and he hasn’t contacted me. I’ve messaged him twice with no response.

I only wanted something casual so I’m not particularly upset, I’m just really confused. What do you think happened?

Coleen says

I DON’T think you should do anything. And who knows why he behaved like that – perhaps he had commitment issues or, as lovely as it was, he realised it wasn’t what he wanted but he felt bad about telling you.

You’ve said you didn’t want a serious relationship, so rather than go mad trying to figure out why, let it go and allow yourself the chance to move on.

If you bump into him again, then maybe you’ll have that conversation in person. I think if he’d been into it, he would have kept in touch.

He could have slept with you that night and then given you the silent treatment but he didn’t, so I think he’s probably a decent guy, but perhaps just a bit cowardly and immature when it comes to relationships.